Christmas time is here...

Dear Dad,

It has been a while since we talked… I am sorry for that. It has been so hard not having you here and sometimes it’s just easier not to think about you. But there are days that I just can’t help it. Days when I wake up from an amazing dream where you are still making Seedie and I laugh on a Saturday night and in those dreams you are getting better, starting to walk again… then I wake up. I love seeing you but it reminds me that you aren’t here anymore. There are also days when I am upset about things and you used to be the one I would go to and talk to about it. Don’t get me wrong, Aaron does an amazing job being there for me, but it still makes me miss you when I can’t just come over and cry on your shoulder. I can still hear your voice though, I can imagine what you would tell me, I can act in a way that you would approve of and make you and God proud. But I miss you daddy…

On Sunday Aaron and I will have been married for 6 months and the time has sure flown by! This will be our first Christmas as a family and I will be thinking of you a lot papa. Remembering the times when we were little and we used to decorate the Christmas tree. We never had one of those “pretty” trees that was all decorated in matching color schemes with everything organized perfectly. Our tree was jumbled with ornaments made by us over the years, with bright colored lights and tinsel (whenever mom would let us get tinsel)… And it was always a real tree, we may not have hacked them down but we always got to pick them out together :) I will be thinking of the times Marcie and I would sneak out of bed at 5:00am to grab our stockings and run back to our bedrooms to dump them out on our beds to see what goodies we got. I will be reminiscing about how after another hour or two of sleep we would run into your bedroom and jump on your bed and tackle you until you and mom would wake up and watch us open our presents over a steaming cup of coffee (which for you, dad, was always scalding hot. Mom said you had already burnt all your taste buds off which is why you always needed it boiling lava hot). I will remember the time that all the presents were opened and all the toys were scattered and then you told us there was one more present. You opened the door to the back porch and there it was, a homemade doll house that looked like our house. It was the best present ever!! Luckily, Aaron also likes real trees and I cannot wait until we have children and they start bringing home their ornaments to add to our new tacky, jumbled, colorful, fun family Christmas tree. And I will always have those memories to laugh about and share with Joe and Marcie. And I think Aaron just may have to build a homemade dollhouse someday years from now.

Merry Christmas dad! I miss you more and more each day, I am sure Christmas is a little bit more amazing where you are though :)

Love you bunches,
Cassie Winnie